What Water Aerobics Taught Me About Fundraising

Recently, after leaving a demanding nonprofit position, I decided it was time to deal with the 30 pounds I had picked up somewhere between ankle surgeries, pandemic baking, and the general stress of being a fundraiser.

Because of the ankle, strenuous cardio was out of the question. My trainer suggested water aerobics.

Now, in my mind, water aerobics involved flowered swim caps, gentle smiles, and graceful ballet-like movements in the pool.

I was wrong.

What I found was a fierce group of women of a certain age who were not messing around. They had water weights, noodles, and opinions. And they moved through that pool with more purpose than many boards move through a strategic plan.

I was the only man in the class, younger than most of them, and absolutely not in charge of anything. They were polite, but I could tell they were watching to see whether I would last. Fair enough. I have watched plenty of new fundraisers enter a room with the same mix of optimism and questionable footwear.

So I kept showing up.

At first, I was just the new guy in the pool. Then I became the new guy who showed up every week. Eventually, I became part of the group. I knew I had truly arrived during a game of water dodgeball when someone yelled, “Let’s go, girls!”

Reader, I was honored.

And yes, this has something to do with fundraising.

Good fundraising is not magic. It is not manipulation. It is not finding the perfect sentence that suddenly makes someone give you money. Good fundraising is the patient work of showing up, listening, adapting, and earning enough trust to be invited into the real conversation.

Donors, like my water aerobics classmates, are entitled to skepticism. They have seen people come and go. They have heard big promises. They have watched organizations appear only when they need something. Trust is not granted because we have a compelling mission statement. It is built through consistency.

That means we have to stop treating cultivation like a prelude to the ask and start treating it as the work itself.

We need to understand what brought a donor to us in the first place. Was it a personal experience? A belief about the world? A relationship with someone on the board? A memory? A concern? A hope? Sometimes the connection is obvious. Sometimes it takes time to find. Either way, our job is not to drag the donor toward our agenda. Our job is to discover where their values and our mission honestly meet.

That requires patience. It also requires humility.

I did not walk into water aerobics and announce that I had a better way to use the noodles. I watched, learned the rhythm, and respected the group. Only then did I become part of it. Fundraising works the same way.

You show up. You pay attention. You do not assume instant intimacy. You do not mistake politeness for commitment. You keep building the relationship until there is enough trust for something meaningful to take shape.

This is where too many organizations get into trouble. They confuse access with a relationship. They think that because someone attended an event, opened an email, or gave once in response to an urgent appeal, that person is ready for a deeper conversation. Maybe they are. Maybe they are not.

A single gift is not a relationship. It is an opening.

The work is what happens next.

Do we thank them well? Do we learn why they gave? Do we report back in a clear, useful way? Do we invite them into the life of the organization without making every interaction feel like a setup for the next ask?

Donors can tell the difference.

They know when we are interested in them only as a revenue source. They also know when we are paying attention. The organizations that raise money well over time are not always the ones with the flashiest campaigns. They understand that generosity grows in relationships and that relationships require care.

That does not mean we never ask. Of course, we do. Fundraising without asking is just a pleasant conversation with a budget problem at the end of the fiscal year. But the ask should come from the relationship, not instead of it.

Water aerobics reminded me that belonging is not automatic. You earn it by showing up with respect, consistency, and a willingness to learn the group's rhythm. The same is true for donors, board members, volunteers, and communities.

And if you are lucky, one day someone lets you know you belong.

Maybe they make a gift.

Maybe they’ll take your call.

Maybe they introduce you to someone else.

Or maybe, in the middle of water dodgeball, they yell, “Let’s go, girls!”

Either way, it is a sign that the relationship has moved from transaction to trust.

And that is where good fundraising begins.

To Survey or Not to Survey? Why Donor Surveys Matter - Part Two

What should a donor survey include? If you have not read last month’s post on why donor surveys matter, you may want to start there. This post moves from the ‘why’ to the ‘how.’ Check it out here.

Personally, I prefer cause- or mission-driven questions before organization-specific ones. If you are a youth development organization, you might ask: Were you involved in a youth development organization, such as Police Athletic League, Boys & Girls Clubs, scouting, a sports league, or an after-school program, when you were growing up? If so, at what age did you become involved? What did that experience mean to you? I am using a youth development organization as the example, but the same approach can be adapted for almost any nonprofit.

Then you can move closer to your organization: How familiar are you with the programs at (Your Youth Development Organization)? Which of our programs are you most interested in learning more about?

That structure matters. You begin with the donor’s life and values, then connect those values to your specific work. That is better than starting with, “How much do you know about us?” The donor’s experience should not be treated as background information. It is part of the relationship.

If you want to understand how your organization is positioned in the broader field, you might also ask about a few peer organizations. That can help you gauge awareness, identity, and perception. Just be careful. The point is to learn how the donor understands the cause and where your organization fits within that understanding.

Values and Personality Questions

In a longer survey, you can also ask a few “personality” or values-based questions. These might include: Which of the following best describes how you see the world? What motivates your giving?  What is one word your friends might use to describe you?

That last question should be open-ended. It may seem small, but it can tell you a lot. Most importantly, it offers a glimpse into how the donor sees themselves. That is useful information. A person who describes themselves as “practical” may respond differently from someone who says “hopeful,” “determined,” “faithful,” “curious,” or “angry.” None of those answers is wrong. They simply give you a better sense of the person behind the gift.

If political or worldview questions are relevant to your mission, they should be used sparingly and with clear context.

Demographic Questions Require Care

These can be useful, but nonprofits need to be very thoughtful. Do not ask for information just because you are curious. Ask only if the information will help you communicate better or understand your donors and contacts more honestly.

Basic demographic questions may include age range, race and ethnicity, marital status, and city, state, or ZIP code. Depending on the organization and the purpose of the survey, you may also ask about gender identity, sexual orientation, disability, faith background, veteran status, or other identity markers.

But here is the important thing: if you ask these questions poorly, you can damage trust.

Be inclusive in the options you provide. Allow people to select more than one answer where appropriate. Include “prefer not to answer” and an option to enter their own answer. Do not make sensitive demographic questions mandatory unless there is a very clear and defensible reason grounded in your organization's mission. Your survey is designed to create and explore connections. It is not a job application.

The same is true for political or worldview questions. They can be useful, especially for advocacy, civic engagement, or issue-based organizations, but they should be handled carefully. A question like “Which political view best describes you?” may feel intrusive if it appears without context. A better approach might be: Which of the following values most informs your support for this work? Or, when you think about public policy and community change, what matters most to you?

You still get useful information, but you are less likely to put the respondent on the defensive.

Make the Answers Useful

The next issue is how to make the answers work for both you and the respondent.

Always err on the side of clarity. Make the survey easy to complete. Only the most important questions should be required. Allow multiple answers where appropriate. For rating questions, I prefer a 1-to-5 scale. It offers respondents two extremes, two moderate positions, and one neutral option. That neutral option matters. Sometimes people really are undecided, unfamiliar, or indifferent.

Also, avoid asking questions you do not plan to use. This is a common mistake nonprofits make. They ask everything they can think of, then do nothing with the information. That is not a strategy. That is adding clutter to your CRM.

Before you send the survey, ask yourself: What will we do with this answer? Will it change how we communicate? Will it shape stewardship? Will it improve segmentation? Will it help us understand donor motivation? If the answer is no, you don’t need the question.

Test Before You Send

You can also test the survey with a small group before sending it widely. Send it to a few reliable donors, volunteers, board members, or longtime contacts, then review the results. Do they complete it? Do they skip certain questions? Do they abandon it halfway through? Do they tell you that anything feels unclear or too personal?

If people are answering only half the questions, the survey may be too long. Cut it. Or divide it into two shorter surveys and send them over several months. Use this information before sending it to your full donor base.

How Often Should You Survey?

That brings us to one of the most important questions: how often should you survey your donors and contacts?

For a longer survey, once a year is probably enough. For the short survey, you can create a schedule. Once a quarter can work, especially if each one has a clear theme. One quarter might focus on mission interest. Another might focus on communication preferences. Another might focus on donor motivation. Another might focus on event participation or volunteer interest. The political and worldview questions can be spread throughout the year.

You are not bothering your donors if the survey is useful, respectful, and easy to answer. In many cases, they will appreciate being asked. People like to share what matters to them. They like to feel known. They like to feel that their opinion has a place in the relationship.

There is a responsibility that comes with asking.

If you survey people, use the information. Do not let it sit in a spreadsheet no one opens again. Add useful fields to your CRM. Tag mission interests. Note communication preferences. Segment appeals more intelligently. Shape stewardship around what people actually told you.

The goal is not to collect data for its own sake. The goal is to communicate with greater care and precision.

Download the Sample Survey

To make this more practical, I have created a sample donor survey that you can adapt for your own organization. It includes mission-based, donor-motivation, communication-preference, and demographic questions that should be handled with care.

The sample is not meant to be copied word for word. It is meant to give you a starting point. Use what fits your mission, remove what does not, and remember the central rule: ask questions only if you are prepared to use the answers.  Click here to download.